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Anonymous: Ducks will always love you. Byeeeeeeeeeeeee.

DUcks kinda scare me

ur rad tho

>v>

crushingcocaine: 1-100 :3

fuck u thats the answer to all of them

FUCK YOU

kill your curiosity
 1. Last kiss   2. Last phone call   3. Last text message   4. Last song you listened to   5. Last time you cried
HAVE YOU EVER:     6. Dated someone twice   7. Been cheated on   8. Self harmed   9. Lost someone special   10. Been depressed   11. Been drunk and threw up
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:     12. had sex   13. How many people have you had sex with this year?   15. Made a new friend   17. Laughed until you cried   18. Met someone who changed you   19. Found out who your true friends were   20. Found out someone was talking about you   26. What did you do for your last Birthday   27. What time did you wake up today   29. Name something you CANNOT wait for   30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time   31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life   32. What are you listening to right now   33. When is the last time you had sex?   34. Who's getting on your nerves right now   35. Most visited webpage   36. Favorite colour   37. Nicknames   38. Relationship Status   39. Zodiac sign   40. Male or female   41. Primary school   42. Secondary School   43. High school/college   44. Eye color   46. Height   47. Do you have a crush on someone   48. What do you like about yourself   49. Piercings   50. Tattoos   51. Righty or lefty
FIRSTS:     53. First piercing   54. First best friend   55. First hookup   56. First Bestfriend
RIGHT NOW:     59. Eating   60. Drinking   61. I'm about to   62. Listening to   63. Waiting for
YOUR FUTURE:     64. Want kids?   65. Get married?   66. Career
WHICH IS BETTER:     67. Lips or eyes   68. Hugs or kisses   69. Shorter or taller   70. Older or Younger   71. Romantic or spontaneous   72. Nice stomach or nice arms   73. Sensitive or loud   74. Hook-up or relationship
HAVE YOU EVER:     76. Kissed a stranger   77. Drank hard liquor   78. Lost glasses/contacts   79. Had sex   80. Broken someone's heart   82. Been arrested   83. Turned someone down   84. Cried when someone died   85. Fallen for a friend
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:     86. Yourself   87. Miracles   88. Love at first sight   89. Heaven   90. Santa Clause   91. Kiss on the first date   92. Angels   93. How would you label yourself?   94. Someone You Pray Everyday For   95. Did you sing today   96. Who From All Your Ex's have You Cared The Most About   97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?   98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For   99. Are you afraid of falling in love?   100. Do you like the way you look?   Actually ask me something. Anon or not.


when someone hot accidentally touches you

The full Omegle experience

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
I WANT THE D IN MY P
You: the dust in you pocket? y u want duct in ur pocket?
You: well leave the P alone for a while and the D will get in
You: or u can put D in it by scooping it up and shoving it in the P
Stranger: Once when I was a 9er these chicks were yelling at us “come party!!!!!” but we ignored them “we’ll fuck your penis!” and we turned around and ended up blazing and drinking then drinking some more and blacking the fuck out.
You: lame
You: i ate a poison apple and fell asleep in a glass coffin til some hot ass guy kissed me
You: zoo wee mama
Stranger: “She’s in like grade 7 dude.” fuck off don’t tell me what to do!
You: then i was in this tower with some pedo who liked my hair and a hot guy and horse came to run from bandits
You: yeah we fucked later
You: ZOO
You: WEE
You: MAMA
Stranger: wait
Stranger: you banged a pedo
Stranger: what’s wrong with you mister
You: acceptingly
Stranger: yeah right.
You: ding dong
Stranger: a price for what?
Stranger: your HEAD
Stranger: .. someone wants you Dead!
You: i killed the pedo and the hot guy cut my magic hair so i couldnt heal him and i cried and he came to life
You: and we got married
You: and fucked
You: FOR 2 WHOLE WEEKS
You: ZOO WE MAMA
Stranger: You’d die if you had sex for 2 weeks
You: obv ur weak
Stranger: you’d die like way before that.
You: youre obv not trying hard enough
Stranger: I bet you tremble after a few o’s
You: no
You: i made him o
You: ha
Stranger: or go limp after a couple squirts if you so happen to have a wang
You: hes a bitch
You: GuRl
You: no
Stranger: Sounds MADE up!!!
You: u dont know
You: NOp that aint me
Stranger: You don’t know me, squid!
You: shrek is love
You: shrek is life
Stranger: FUCK shrek
Stranger: and I bet you would
You: youre drek
You: its only ogre
Stranger: I’m sorry
Stranger: what
You: when i say
You: its
Stranger: did you say to me
You: OGRE
You: TIME TO GO INTO
You: MAXIMUM OGREDRIVE
You: CHECK YOURSELF
You: BEFORE YOU SHREK YOURSELF
Stranger: of course
Stranger: checkity checkity yoself before you shrek yoself
You: FIFTY LAYERS OF ONIONS
You: BY SHREK
You: #1 BEST SWAMP SELLER
Stranger: You’re fucking psycho you know that?
You: lol SHREK UP
Stranger: Do you like to be ogre choked while youre doing the do?
You: let me
You: tell you a story
Stranger: I’m listening
You: I was only nine years old

>I loved Shrek so much, I owned all the movies and merchandise

>I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I have been given

>”Shrek is love”, I say, “Shrek is life”

>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot

> He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Shrek

>I call him a twat

> He slaps me and sends me to my room

> I am crying now, because my face hurts

> I go into my bed and it is very cold

>I feel a warmth moving towards me

> I fell something touch me

> It’s Shrek

> I am so happy

> he whispers into my ear, “This is my swamp”

> He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees

> I’m ready

> I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek

> He penetrates my butthole

> It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek

> I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water

> I push against his force

> I want to please Shrek

> He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love

> My dad walks in

> Shrek looks him deep in the eyes and says, “It’s all ogre now”

> Shrek leaves through my window

Shrek is love, Shrek is life
You: :)
Stranger: too much shrek
You: this is my swamp
Stranger: your swamp is a dump
You: TWAT
Stranger: my swamp is where it’s really bumpin
You: its all ogre now
You have disconnected.

sophieandace:

IT’S THE SHREK THE MUSICAL GAME!!

Pause it and skip to any part of the show! You won’t be disappointed!

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….

don’t judge me, opening night for my school’s production of it is less than 2 weeks away

teenssfromhell:

when you accidentally befriend someone annoying and you can’t get out of the friendship

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